A Series of Unfortunate Events

I swear I have new photos of various things painted and built but I just haven't gotten around to posting them. Then the following event happened and I just had to get it down before I forgot the minute details.

Often I find myself doubting the work of others. Could be I’m controlling, could be they know better than me, could be I just prefer doing things myself to ensure that should something go wrong at least I know who to blame and not fuss with suing anyone. Also, when someone is nice to you I think you tend to let things slide, perhaps thinking that their nice vibes will prevent imminent disaster.

Today is a good example of that to which what I refer. I need to put up a garden fence to stop the dogs digging in the non-existent garden. It’s a pretty simple affair, 4 foot by 8 foot preserved wood lattice (in keeping with the natural wood of my backyard) held up by posts , a simple gate and voila – safe garden.

I saw a great deal in a flyer for a store I’d never heard of - Central Home Building Supplies - and flyer in hand I marched into the store, got my good deals plus a few more and went round back to pick up my wood. Everything slid easily into the back of the truck save four 4x8 sheets of lattice. Hmmm. I already figured they’d need to go on the roof so I brought along some bungee cords.

Young man who was helping me turned into three men helping me and with testosterone brimming over they put the lattice on the truck. I secured it with my bungee cords but didn’t feel it was tight enough so young man #1 said they’d reinforce it with twine at my request as I drove out of the yard.

Older, nice, helpful guy cheerfully told me all about how some customers don’t appreciate the effort the staff goes to and I nodded and tutted at appropriate intervals all the while thinking “I wish he’d just give me the damn twine so I can do it properly”.

The load finally battened down I waved goodbye to the nice guy and was on my trepid way. I eased out of New Glasgow, going a cautious 80km/hr and felt things were going reasonably well. I got on the highway to Pictou, maintained speed and kept an eye on the rearview for any AWOL lattice.

Turns out I needn’t have been watching the rearview because when the lattice was abruptly ripped from my roof I heard it loud and clear. I did glance in the rearview to see the truck behind me swerve to avoid the now dangerous addition to the highway and the 6 other vehicles behind him also managed to avoid driving over top of my goods.

I hit the brakes and coasted to a stop. Put on my hazards. Popped the truck into reverse and carefully eased my way back to the debris to assess the carnage. I glanced up and realized some concerned citizen in an SUV had pulled over to stop and was reversing … with his lights flashing. It was a police officer.

Just my damn luck. Now I’ll get a ticket or something for an insecure load.

So I dragged everything to the side of the road and realized that while the lattice had done a spectacular swoop-de-loop in the air behind my truck it was all still in one piece. All four sheets of it. A corner here and there was a bit road rashed but otherwise it looked salvageable.
The cop reaches me and gets out. A pleasant looking fellow who’s first question is “Is everything okay?” Uh … yes? Well, no … I’m retrieving my lattice from the middle of the highway halfway to Pictou. He was very concerned the lattice was all broken and beyond use now. How nice … no
mention of the incredible good luck that it didn’t hit the truck following me, causing him to swerve and drive himself into the ditch where his truck bursts into flame and explodes. His concern was sweet though.

Turns out (are you ready for this Albertans?) *he stopped to help*. He insisted on helping me load the wood back onto the truck, secure it MY way with dog leads of all things (he asked if I really had enough dogs leads in my truck at any given moment to secure a load of wood onto it - stick around pal and you’ll learn all kinds of damn things about me) and battened those suckers down like my life depended on it.

Turns out Officer Phil Oliver just moved to Pictou from New Brunswick about a month ago and he has 5 cats. Huh. The things you learn on the side of a highway in Nova Scotia. Once he was satisfied I had the load secure he introduced himself, shook my hand, took my name and said ”I’ll probably see you around in Pictou.” Probably now you know the make and model of my truck you will be scouting for it to ensure I don’t have anything else strapped to the roof waiting to release itself from its earthly ties and scythe the top off someone’s vehicle. Maybe next time he’s driving behind me a dog will fall out of my window …

And that … was my day. The lattice is now safely earthbound in my back yard waiting for more Daddy help to put in yet another fence. The moral of this story is: always take your Daddy to pick up renovation supplies. Always.